[ Somehow, Aloy fussing calms her some. Someone had to pretend it wasn't a big deal. ]
Nothings going to change in between now and a week, just stay put and do what you need to do. I haven't told Beta or GAIA yet so all I got is matronly wisdom but I think she's right. Called it the second she saw me. Thought I was just getting fat. But with the puking I guess it makes sense. She said 8 weeksish. So yeah? It worked. Congrats.
If I need something I'll say something ok? Just worry about keeping everyone from killing each other. Yeah incredible, one of the little Aloys that weren't on my face managed to make a baby.
[ It was a good time though, she would never deny that. ]
Yeah. Probably another month. that mean you want it?
What? You didn't like it? Could have fooled me. Damn right I asked and I'll do it again after you put a safety on that trigger. Actually- you should be flattered, never wanted anyone to do that before I met you.
[ she's teasing, but she's not lying. Too bad about the tone shift. ]
Dunno, I guess. I won't be able to go anywhere with you for who knows how long. You're gone a lot these days. It's okay with just Alana but two of them might as well be three of them. you're out there fighting the good fight but this world isn't exactly.. comfortable. One more person to worry about, double the chances of losing something important. Don't know if I'd make it after something like that.
[ She doesn't discuss her grief often. Even just knowing Mikhail was left on his own eats at her every day.
Now that she'd carried one of her own the hypothetical grief itself was almost too much to bear. ]
[Let it be known that she has a hand covering her forehead,and is turned away slightly so that no one can walk by and see how mortified she looks.]
I didn't say that I didn't like it. Moving on...
[Ah, the tone shift. She's expecting it eventually — it sobers her. She takes a mom to respond.]
The tribes are beginning to stabilize things on their own. I'm not sure if they'll need me as much from now on. And besides, you and Alana need me more. I can stay close to home. I swear.
[Zero hates when she reassures her without knowing an outcome, so she doesn't try to. But staying in Mother's Embrace? That was easy enough. The world would have to fare without her for now.]
It's not always comfortable, but it's not all bad either. We have allies - friends - everywhere too. It's your choice. You're doing all of the... heavy lifting. I understand why you're worried.
[ it's strange, though it shouldn't be, to hear Aloy want this child. It's her choice, she knows, and Aloy would never begrudge her for it but it's clear that she's excited at the prospect and would prefer one outcome over the other if possible.
Zero doesn't feel guilty, but it's given her a new set of things to consider- to give Aloy someone else to love so intensely was its own reward. ]
I'll make a decision once you get back. Don't tell anyone else. Your friends are busybodies
They're your friends too you know. Vanasha asked about you - says you should come next time. Said something about keeping me in line. Whatever.
[She gives this question some thought, excited that Zero is indulging her even though she's still mulling things over.]
I'm not sure. I'd be happy either way... but another girl would be nice. Alana could have a sister who grows up alongside her.
[It's clear now that she's thinking about her own childhood. Beta's too, and Zero's long gone and apparently deeply disturbed sisters that she still almost never spoke of.]
Next time she asks tell her I'll visit when you stop knocking me up with your potent gunk.
[ she's less doom and gloom now at least.
It's hard to admit they're her friends too. But again, Aloy is in her ear being kind. ]
If it's a girl Alanas going to be jealous you know. But it would be something to have another pair of smart aleck red heads running around. You know how I feel about those.
[ It's as fond as someone like Zero is willing to sound. ]
[To see Zero suggest Alana might be envious gives her pause. She frowns, contemplative.]
You think so? I imagined she might like it. Someone else her age being around. Someone to talk to. I would've loved that at her age. Hmm. Maybe this one'll take after you in the looks department. You never know.
Beta and I were a different situation. We met in adulthood, and they aren't clones of a 21st century super genius who saved the world. Will they have issues? With us as parents? There's no doubt. But different issues.
I bet they'll love each other.
[Famous last words.]
Aren't there enough redheads around here for you? Besides, Alana takes after me physically, and you've seen data of me as a kid... there's Beta, Elisabet too. I'd like to know what you were like back then.
Your guess is as good as mine. Didn't even see my own face in a mirror until I was 12 probably Weird to think about now.
[ her own childhood feels like a distant bad dream most days. It creeps up on her sometimes when Alana tries her patience or falls ill, but more than anything else Zero is grateful she is able to live the way she does. ]
You're gonna' give Alana a complex that's bigger than yours and Beta's combined. You know that right?
C'mon. I never wanted to kill Beta. Throttle her a little, maybe. But no killing.
And that's... I can't imagine. Rost and I were on the outskirts, but I never - ah. It's not fair. I wish you could've grown up here. Dangerous, still. But even outcasts had each other.
[Aloy has learned a great deal about Zero, in painful and slow passes, like stitching a puncture wound back together. Each word like the prick of a needle through skin and sinew. Every story a wretched, horrible thing. So Aloy asks very little of her past as time goes on. She's inferred a lot from the bits and pieces she's gleaned — she was a Seeker, was she not? Even still, even now. She had been putting together mysteries since she was a child. She had enlisted help, however. She's been having GAIA compile information on what Beta told her was a theory called parallel universes — the idea that a world existed alongside their own. Infinite worlds, infinite possibilities. Varl's taken interest in it too, though he had admitted some trepidation. It's so vast, Aloy. How can you piece it together?
She felt the same way sometimes, she'd told him, as they stared up at the vast span of stars wheeling overhead. Each one another universe.]
Maybe she'll be perfectly ordinary. Like a painter, or a builder. You never know.
you think Rost wouldve let that happened? He'd probably tell you to put that thing back where you found it or something.
[ the thought is sweet though. It's reminiscent of her own feelings - to be able to go back somehow and offer Aloy the maternal affection she was never given. ]
She's already using words I don't know. And her heads giant I would know. It tore me down to my asshole. Not a bad thing though to take after you. You'll just have to accept that she's always going to see you as a s a goal post.
[ Zero is alone often enough to know she already does. ]
[ She believes that, though she's not sure how he would have felt about whatever influence she would have had on Aloy.
They were both problem children after all. ]
there's probably footage laying around inside GAIA the aftermath of 13 hours of labor and that 10 pound baby. Go look at it and answer that question yourself. Things are already better for her. She has two parents and one of them brings her back shiny shit whenever she wants.
Who's to say Alana inherited my skull? Could be yours. And I know, I know. I don't want her to be bound to any legacy — mine or Elisabet's. She should be able to be her own person. I know it isn't realistic. But I can't help but hope it anyway.
my head isn't as big as yours. And Whether she is or isn't it's not up to you But right now the only thing she's worried about is whether you'll bring her back something pretty she can show off She likes to gloat Think she gets that from you too
didn't agree to the second one, that one just happened. Maybe I have a thing for braggarts with giant heads Be glad you don't actually have a dick or else we'd probably have even more
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Well, time to rip off the bandage. ]
Your grandma says you knocked me up.
Again.
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[a half-second later:]
what
It worked?
are you sure?
is she sure??
how far along
are you feeling okay
[and a few moments later:]
I'm coming back home.
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[ Somehow, Aloy fussing calms her some. Someone had to pretend it wasn't a big deal. ]
Nothings going to change in between now and a week, just stay put and do what you need to do.
I haven't told Beta or GAIA yet so all I got is matronly wisdom but I think she's right.
Called it the second she saw me.
Thought I was just getting fat. But with the puking I guess it makes sense.
She said 8 weeksish.
So yeah? It worked. Congrats.
no subject
[She's freaking out.]
I can cut it short. Just say the word. They'll be fine without me.
8 weeks... yeah, that... it lines up.
I can't believe it worked - wow. Incredible.
[A slight delay.]
Too early to know if it's a boy or a girl, huh?
no subject
Yeah incredible, one of the little Aloys that weren't on my face managed to make a baby.
[ It was a good time though, she would never deny that. ]
Yeah.
Probably another month.
that mean you want it?
no subject
And you
You asked me specifically to do that
It's not like I
[She's so embarrassed. Even the memory has her flustered.]
Nevermind.
I do, but...
Does that mean that you don't?
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Damn right I asked and I'll do it again after you put a safety on that trigger.
Actually- you should be flattered, never wanted anyone to do that before I met you.
[ she's teasing, but she's not lying. Too bad about the tone shift. ]
Dunno, I guess.
I won't be able to go anywhere with you for who knows how long. You're gone a lot these days. It's okay with just Alana but two of them might as well be three of them.
you're out there fighting the good fight but this world isn't exactly.. comfortable.
One more person to worry about, double the chances of losing something important.
Don't know if I'd make it after something like that.
[ She doesn't discuss her grief often. Even just knowing Mikhail was left on his own eats at her every day.
Now that she'd carried one of her own the hypothetical grief itself was almost too much to bear. ]
no subject
I didn't say that I didn't like it.
Moving on...
[Ah, the tone shift. She's expecting it eventually — it sobers her. She takes a mom to respond.]
The tribes are beginning to stabilize things on their own.
I'm not sure if they'll need me as much from now on.
And besides, you and Alana need me more. I can stay close to home. I swear.
[Zero hates when she reassures her without knowing an outcome, so she doesn't try to. But staying in Mother's Embrace? That was easy enough. The world would have to fare without her for now.]
It's not always comfortable, but it's not all bad either. We have allies - friends - everywhere too. It's your choice. You're doing all of the... heavy lifting. I understand why you're worried.
no subject
Zero doesn't feel guilty, but it's given her a new set of things to consider- to give Aloy someone else to love so intensely was its own reward. ]
I'll make a decision once you get back. Don't tell anyone else. Your friends are busybodies
[ said with as much affection as annoyance. ]
Fess up.
Do you want a boy or a girl?
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Whatever.
[She gives this question some thought, excited that Zero is indulging her even though she's still mulling things over.]
I'm not sure. I'd be happy either way... but another girl would be nice. Alana could have a sister who grows up alongside her.
[It's clear now that she's thinking about her own childhood. Beta's too, and Zero's long gone and apparently deeply disturbed sisters that she still almost never spoke of.]
no subject
[ she's less doom and gloom now at least.
It's hard to admit they're her friends too. But again, Aloy is in her ear being kind. ]
If it's a girl Alanas going to be jealous you know.
But it would be something to have another pair of smart aleck red heads running around.
You know how I feel about those.
[ It's as fond as someone like Zero is willing to sound. ]
no subject
[To see Zero suggest Alana might be envious gives her pause. She frowns, contemplative.]
You think so? I imagined she might like it. Someone else her age being around. Someone to talk to. I would've loved that at her age.
Hmm. Maybe this one'll take after you in the looks department. You never know.
no subject
[ if she was there she would be doing her best impression of it. It was cute. So naturally zero has to give her shit for it. ]
hey
Question
Did you hit your head and forget the last decade
You remember what you and Beta were like? Cause I do.
[ somehow always caught in the cross fire of their unspoken spats. ]
well I sure as hell hope not. I like red.
no subject
[She had, much to her chagrin.]
Beta and I were a different situation. We met in adulthood, and they aren't clones of a 21st century super genius who saved the world. Will they have issues? With us as parents? There's no doubt. But different issues.
I bet they'll love each other.
[Famous last words.]
Aren't there enough redheads around here for you? Besides, Alana takes after me physically, and you've seen data of me as a kid... there's Beta, Elisabet too. I'd like to know what you were like back then.
no subject
They will.
[ she admits. ]
but they're going to kill each other first.
[ Because all sisters want to kill each other. ]
Your guess is as good as mine.
Didn't even see my own face in a mirror until I was
12 probably
Weird to think about now.
[ her own childhood feels like a distant bad dream most days. It creeps up on her sometimes when Alana tries her patience or falls ill, but more than anything else Zero is grateful she is able to live the way she does. ]
You're gonna' give Alana a complex that's bigger than yours and Beta's combined. You know that right?
[ Again, teasing. But also- ]
no subject
And that's... I can't imagine. Rost and I were on the outskirts, but I never - ah. It's not fair. I wish you could've grown up here. Dangerous, still. But even outcasts had each other.
[Aloy has learned a great deal about Zero, in painful and slow passes, like stitching a puncture wound back together. Each word like the prick of a needle through skin and sinew. Every story a wretched, horrible thing. So Aloy asks very little of her past as time goes on. She's inferred a lot from the bits and pieces she's gleaned — she was a Seeker, was she not? Even still, even now. She had been putting together mysteries since she was a child. She had enlisted help, however. She's been having GAIA compile information on what Beta told her was a theory called parallel universes — the idea that a world existed alongside their own. Infinite worlds, infinite possibilities. Varl's taken interest in it too, though he had admitted some trepidation. It's so vast, Aloy. How can you piece it together?
She felt the same way sometimes, she'd told him, as they stared up at the vast span of stars wheeling overhead. Each one another universe.]
Maybe she'll be perfectly ordinary. Like a painter, or a builder. You never know.
no subject
[ the thought is sweet though. It's reminiscent of her own feelings - to be able to go back somehow and offer Aloy the maternal affection she was never given. ]
She's already using words I don't know.
And her heads giant
I would know. It tore me down to my asshole.
Not a bad thing though to take after you.
You'll just have to accept that she's always going to see you as a s a goal post.
[ Zero is alone often enough to know she already does. ]
no subject
[It was still rare that she discussed Rost openly — the grief was less raw now, but always there.]
Is my head that big...
I'd rather that she didn't take after me, honestly. It's not an easy life. I want things to be better for her.
no subject
They were both problem children after all. ]
there's probably footage laying around inside GAIA
the aftermath of 13 hours of labor and that 10 pound baby.
Go look at it and answer that question yourself.
Things are already better for her. She has two parents and one of them brings her back shiny shit whenever she wants.
no subject
And I know, I know. I don't want her to be bound to any legacy — mine or Elisabet's. She should be able to be her own person.
I know it isn't realistic. But I can't help but hope it anyway.
no subject
And Whether she is or isn't it's not up to you
But right now the only thing she's worried about is whether you'll bring her back something pretty she can show off
She likes to gloat
Think she gets that from you too
no subject
[She's poking fun. Mostly.]
no subject
Maybe I have a thing for braggarts with giant heads
Be glad you don't actually have a dick or else we'd probably have even more
no subject
More? - Ah, yeah, point taken. We aren't used to those kinds of
restrictions.
I miss you, by the way.
no subject
You already said that but I'm counting it as your second strike anyway
You only get 3 remember
But yeah, I guess I miss you too.
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