You're always such a tough grader. What if I bribe you? Bring you something back? I'll be home in a week or so. If she wants to get up early, I'll take her with me on errands. You can sleep in. Tell everyone I said hello. Beta's been keeping me updated on her APOLLO outreach with the Nora - she's making headway. Thank goodness for Teersa.
I thought she'd take more after us, but maybe it's a good sign that she doesn't in that respect.
Cheating huh? I thought you were supposed to be a good apple. Pretty fucking presumptuous to think I'd be compromised so easily You say that.. but I don't know how much you'll get done with her around She's got this new thing now where she bolts the first chance she gets
Yeah in a decade the Nora might not pee themselves when they see a flashing blue light.
[ Zero's optimism is of course, ever-flowing. ]
Well, spending the first few years of being alive in Meridian probably helped Made her a show off and a talker like everyone else in that damn city Already thinks she's a cosmopolitan
It's strategizing. Not cheating if it's strategy. And I know - that's why it's got to be a good bribe. Something you really, really want.
She's always been one to wander. I, ah, have a lot of experience from all the times I had her while you were resting up when she was smaller. You're talking to a machine hunter and expert baby finder. I can handle it.
And hey, give them some credit. A lot of them are taking to the heated outside baths. We'll modernize them yet, you'll see. Meridian's not so bad... blowhard nobles aside. They're coming around.
good thing you never went to school, you'd be a pain in the ass of whatever teacher didn't give you full marks. And nice try, but there's only two things I want and neither of them you can give me from all the way over there.
Expert huh? Just how much experience DO you have losing my goddamn baby?
They can thank me for that. Beta told me you building that thing when I said I'd have Alana was called a "push present" back in the day.
Actually I guess they should thank her then instead.
You saying something nice about people in Meridian? Are you drunk without me Because I'm going to be really fucking pissed if you are ://////
[ Sometimes, she uses emoji (though all variations of something monotone and facetious). Now that she no longer sends exclusively voice messages, she's been working on tone indicators (for Beta's sake). ]
Didn't know it was such an ordeal for you Well I wouldn't want to tire you out, maybe I should figure out some other way to handle it. If I can't you can't it's half YOUR fault I can't
Now now, let's not go that far. I'm more than equipped to handle it.
[Despite her playful half-threat of drinking, she'd made a beeline to her quarters (too ostentatious and big for one person, but she'd long since stopped arguing with Avad about it) to fulfill Zero's demand.]
If I'm remembering right... YOU asked me very specifically to give the device that extra detail. We could go without the toy altogether, if that's what you're saying.
[The picture, when it does come, is without bells and whistles — just Aloy lounged back on a fancy bed sans her armor and tunic, a bright and out-of-place shape in the low, warm oil lamplight. She's been traveling often lately and has a leaner look from weeks of being on the road, but otherwise is no worse for wear.]
don't put words in my mouth I'm just sayin own up to your jizz I also didn't ask Just said it would've been hot if Alana happened that way :/
[ and to Aloy's self deprecation and the picture she sends: ]
I'm going to suck you dry. You're going to look ten years older when I'm done with you.
[ classic zero, a come on and a threat all in one go.
She disappears for some time after. It is in part putting Alana to bed.
But the other thing that takes up her time comes in the way of a video an hour and a half later.
Zero is dressed only in the loose slip she wears to bed, shiny white silk, the sorts of pajamas usually only worn by Carja nobles. The straps are pulled down, breasts spilling over top. In the time Aloy has been gone it's become easier to recognize the signs of their little discovery- her breasts are larger, full, her face is rounder too.
There's a full view of her hand working between her thighs, a raw image of the act contrasting her otherwise coquettish look. She finishes with a shudder and quiet, melodic sigh. ]
I am taking responsibility. Just saying it takes two to
[a delay follows Zero's mingled threat and promise. In the privacy of her room, she rubs at her forehead, allowing her embarrassment and excitement both to pass over her before she deems herself able to respond.]
make a baby.
[She always feels like she can never quite keep up with Zero's brazenness, but Zero seemed not to mind either, so... as always, she tries her best.]
Is that a threat or a promise? Can barely wait either way - are you trying to drive me crazy?
The video is a surprise, and she watches it twice before she can manage to respond, this time through audio. Her voice is a little hoarse, unsteady.]
I thought I was supposed to be giving you a gift, not the other way around.
You're beautiful. I wish I was the one touching you right now — wouldn't stop until you begged me to.
Tell me what you were thinking of. [She has an idea, but:] I want to hear you say it.
[Heedless to how eager she sounds until the last minute, Aloy's response is immediate.] I can keep up — you can be as needy as you want. Don't I always take care of you?
[Her breath catches at Zero's rare use of her name and the low note of suggestion in her tone, but a little laugh escapes her later.]
Good to know they're memorable, I suppose. I've never paid much attention.
[ The eagerness makes her as affectionate as it does horny.
Yeah? I think about 'em all the time.
[ She's accustomed to this aspect of Aloy: pathetically unaware of the power she held. How one person could be so ignorant the ripples they created in others, she'd never know. It's not like anyone hid that they had the hots for her. ]
I think about a lot more than that, actually. Hard to think about much else with everything you do for me, Aloy.
All the time? [A breathless little laugh follows this.] Pervert.
[It's said with undisguised fondness — a toddler and another baby on the way, and she still got like this. Sappy, despite Zero's protests.]
I better make up for lost time when I get back, then. [A brief delay, and then she admits:] It always makes me restless when you can't come with me on these trips. Not waking up next to you, not being able to touch you when I want to...
Well who the hell else's tits am I supposed to look at?
[ It's a testament to her own domestication that there's the smallest smile on her face. ]
Who's the pervert now?
[ there's an instinct in her that wants to say this deprivation would become a more regular experience if they had another child. But there's time for that still, so for now she indulges herself and Aloy. ]
You are touchy feely in the morning, not that I'm complaining - your hand between my legs.. it's not a bad alarm clock.
Oh boo-hoo. I'm the one the one with the short end of the stick. When you get back you can use that genius brain of yours and make me something that can do all that touching.
[ Years later Zero is still flippant and lazy. ]
Huh, guess you really do want it.
[ it's an observation not a judgement. Zero guessed this about Aloy, it was a natural part of the many things that fed into her affection for her. ]
[It's rare that they have this discussion, at least in such a direct way. But Zero's directness was one of the things that Aloy loved about her, and so she takes the hit, letting a silence hang that seemed more thoughtful than angry.
She always felt guilty when this came up. The frequent calls, the gifts, the requests for pictures and updates, a doting that leaned sometimes into excessive... all of this was a way to keep Zero and Alana from forgetting her. So that her absence would not breed contempt and bitterness. But it was a way to mitigate her own discomfort too.
She breaks the silence and says, softly:] I know.
[She looks around this opulent room, the four poster bed. Under her feet, she can still hear the raucous celebration, Erend's booming laughter. She rubs absently at the old scar on her throat, little more than blanched skin and a bad memory now.]
I...
There's still so much to do. There's peace now, collaboration — but it's tenuous, Zero. It's fragile. Everything could go wrong so quickly.
[ on the other end of the line zero sighs, the toils of her own day and her own paranoia about the future (smaller in scale) is really as exhausting. ]
I know. And that's fine.
[ And Zero never begrudged this sense of sacrifice. She finds herself to be inadequate in every way when it comes to Aloy- but there is one thing she is secretly sure of: no one understood Aloy's sense of sacrifice more than Zero. And no one else ever would.
But their senses of self-sacrifice were at odds once children had come into the picture. With Alana it had been tolerable. One child was three times as easy as two, after all.
And even that had come with its own strife. That year in Meridian had hurt Aloy deeply, but it brought some clarity to Zero. In that year she'd grown, healed from things that had nothing to do with Aloy. She'd been able to be a good mother. She can't promise that would be the case if another child was brought into the picture. ]
But you can't have your cake and eat it too. I don't know if you really don't know this.. or if it's something you just forget- it only gets harder when they can remember shit and have opinions.
[She hadn't forgotten Meridian either. For the first time she had felt a pain unlike any other heartache she'd experienced. The absence of the two of them for good had felt like a terrifying possibility. For the first time, she had felt a kernel of resentment at GAIA and Elisabet both take root in her heart.
And then she'd remembered that Elisabet had wanted her own children, lamented their absence, and felt ashamed at her bitterness.]
[ This discussion would be easier if she didn't feel pathetic heartache over the turmoil she knew Aloy felt. The last decade had turned her into something sensitive and embarrassing. Ugh. ]
"Trying" is fine with the way things are now. We can still follow you. When you're here Alana doesn't have to share you.
[ and getting this part out feels bitter and sharp. It's painful to admit: ]
If we do this.. you need to be around all the time for a long time. That's my line. If we do this, you can't cross it. You can think about it.
[She's grateful for the lack of video so that Zero doesn't see the anxious ripple of emotion across her face, or notice the dip of her shoulders. A burst of sound from below makes her jump, her whole body going tense and still, and then the sound is followed by laughter and music again.]
Yeah.
[She wants to apologize and decides to hold her tongue. She's had a long time to learn that these platitudes do nothing to soothe Zero. She worries about the day that it won't be good enough for Alana either.]
I'll give it some thought.
[It's quiet, all the buoyancy from earlier gone.
Hekkaro had mentioned a point of concern to her during the meeting earlier. Murmurs, he'd assured her, nothing more — of a group of Quen in unfamiliar regalia who had been spotted near the Lowlands. But it was his land, and his people. He would handle it thusly, he reassured her.
But what if he didn't? Or couldn't? These thoughts and others — problems, discoveries, danger — they were a constant to her. It was like a light that could not be snuffed out.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'll be home in a week or so. If she wants to get up early, I'll take her with me on errands. You can sleep in.
Tell everyone I said hello. Beta's been keeping me updated on her APOLLO outreach with the Nora - she's making headway. Thank goodness for Teersa.
I thought she'd take more after us, but maybe it's a good sign that she doesn't in that respect.
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Pretty fucking presumptuous to think I'd be compromised so easily
You say that.. but I don't know how much you'll get done with her around
She's got this new thing now where she bolts the first chance she gets
Yeah in a decade the Nora might not pee themselves when they see a flashing blue light.
[ Zero's optimism is of course, ever-flowing. ]
Well, spending the first few years of being alive in Meridian probably helped
Made her a show off and a talker like everyone else in that damn city
Already thinks she's a cosmopolitan
no subject
And I know - that's why it's got to be a good bribe. Something you really, really want.
She's always been one to wander. I, ah, have a lot of experience from all the times I had her while you were resting up when she was smaller. You're talking to a machine hunter and expert baby finder. I can handle it.
And hey, give them some credit. A lot of them are taking to the heated outside baths. We'll modernize them yet, you'll see.
Meridian's not so bad... blowhard nobles aside. They're coming around.
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And nice try, but there's only two things I want and neither of them you can give me from all the way over there.
Expert huh? Just how much experience DO you have losing my goddamn baby?
They can thank me for that. Beta told me you building that thing when I said I'd have Alana was called a "push present" back in the day.
Actually I guess they should thank her then instead.
You saying something nice about people in Meridian? Are you drunk without me
Because I'm going to be really fucking pissed if you are ://////
[ Sometimes, she uses emoji (though all variations of something monotone and facetious). Now that she no longer sends exclusively voice messages, she's been working on tone indicators (for Beta's sake). ]
no subject
And humor me. Maybe I can figure something out from over here. I'm creative.
Brought her back every time without a scratch, didn't I? Don't worry so much. :)
I'm not having fun without you. Erend just proposed a drinking contest, loudly, so I'm going to make my escape before he realizes I'm gone.
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Tit pic.
It's been two weeks
This isn't your first dog and pony show
You know how I get when I'm like this.
[ knocked up. ]
The spank bank is empty.
Tell Erend if you even have a drop of booze I'll kill him
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[It's insincere griping, because she had enjoyed it. Already she brightens at the request (demand).]
You've got it, boss.
I can't drink? Not even one?
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Well I wouldn't want to tire you out, maybe I should figure out some other way to handle it.
If I can't you can't
it's half YOUR fault I can't
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[Despite her playful half-threat of drinking, she'd made a beeline to her quarters (too ostentatious and big for one person, but she'd long since stopped arguing with Avad about it) to fulfill Zero's demand.]
If I'm remembering right... YOU asked me very specifically to give the device that extra detail. We could go without the toy altogether, if that's what you're saying.
[The picture, when it does come, is without bells and whistles — just Aloy lounged back on a fancy bed sans her armor and tunic, a bright and out-of-place shape in the low, warm oil lamplight. She's been traveling often lately and has a leaner look from weeks of being on the road, but otherwise is no worse for wear.]
You know I'm not good at posing.
no subject
I'm just sayin own up to your jizz I also didn't ask
Just said it would've been hot if Alana happened that way :/
[ and to Aloy's self deprecation and the picture she sends: ]
I'm going to suck you dry.
You're going to look ten years older when I'm done with you.
[ classic zero, a come on and a threat all in one go.
She disappears for some time after. It is in part putting Alana to bed.
But the other thing that takes up her time comes in the way of a video an hour and a half later.
Zero is dressed only in the loose slip she wears to bed, shiny white silk, the sorts of pajamas usually only worn by Carja nobles. The straps are pulled down, breasts spilling over top. In the time Aloy has been gone it's become easier to recognize the signs of their little discovery- her breasts are larger, full, her face is rounder too.
There's a full view of her hand working between her thighs, a raw image of the act contrasting her otherwise coquettish look. She finishes with a shudder and quiet, melodic sigh. ]
no subject
[a delay follows Zero's mingled threat and promise. In the privacy of her room, she rubs at her forehead, allowing her embarrassment and excitement both to pass over her before she deems herself able to respond.]
make a baby.
[She always feels like she can never quite keep up with Zero's brazenness, but Zero seemed not to mind either, so... as always, she tries her best.]
Is that a threat or a promise?
Can barely wait either way - are you trying to drive me crazy?
The video is a surprise, and she watches it twice before she can manage to respond, this time through audio. Her voice is a little hoarse, unsteady.]
I thought I was supposed to be giving you a gift, not the other way around.
You're beautiful. I wish I was the one touching you right now — wouldn't stop until you begged me to.
Tell me what you were thinking of. [She has an idea, but:] I want to hear you say it.
no subject
The compliment draws another flutter of her stomach. ]
That's your third strike. Sap. But if you won't stop until I want you to.. you're gonna be going for a long time. Sure you can keep up?
[ Aloy has come a long way from the early days of their intimacy. Zero grins silently, but her voice is measured, quiet and seductive. ]
I was thinking about you, Aloy.
[ a pause. ]
And your tits.
no subject
[Her breath catches at Zero's rare use of her name and the low note of suggestion in her tone, but a little laugh escapes her later.]
Good to know they're memorable, I suppose. I've never paid much attention.
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Yeah? I think about 'em all the time.
[ She's accustomed to this aspect of Aloy: pathetically unaware of the power she held. How one person could be so ignorant the ripples they created in others, she'd never know. It's not like anyone hid that they had the hots for her. ]
I think about a lot more than that, actually. Hard to think about much else with everything you do for me, Aloy.
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[It's said with undisguised fondness — a toddler and another baby on the way, and she still got like this. Sappy, despite Zero's protests.]
I better make up for lost time when I get back, then. [A brief delay, and then she admits:] It always makes me restless when you can't come with me on these trips. Not waking up next to you, not being able to touch you when I want to...
no subject
[ It's a testament to her own domestication that there's the smallest smile on her face. ]
Who's the pervert now?
[ there's an instinct in her that wants to say this deprivation would become a more regular experience if they had another child. But there's time for that still, so for now she indulges herself and Aloy. ]
You are touchy feely in the morning, not that I'm complaining - your hand between my legs.. it's not a bad alarm clock.
no subject
There's a lilt to her voice that suggests she's holding back a grin.]
I reached over for you without thinking this morning. Didn't take long to remember - this bed's so... [a huff.] plush. Strange.
Next time, before you're too far along, you should come. Alana too. We can make it a trip.
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[ Years later Zero is still flippant and lazy. ]
Huh, guess you really do want it.
[ it's an observation not a judgement. Zero guessed this about Aloy, it was a natural part of the many things that fed into her affection for her. ]
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And I do. [...] I mean... I think it'll be nice. I can be around more often this time. I missed a lot with Alana.
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[ For the first time she sounds irritated. It's that whole pet peeve about people repeating themselves. The phrase in particular also hits a nerve.
But she feels bad almost immediately. ]
Hormones. Sorry.
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She always felt guilty when this came up. The frequent calls, the gifts, the requests for pictures and updates, a doting that leaned sometimes into excessive... all of this was a way to keep Zero and Alana from forgetting her. So that her absence would not breed contempt and bitterness. But it was a way to mitigate her own discomfort too.
She breaks the silence and says, softly:] I know.
[She looks around this opulent room, the four poster bed. Under her feet, she can still hear the raucous celebration, Erend's booming laughter. She rubs absently at the old scar on her throat, little more than blanched skin and a bad memory now.]
I...
There's still so much to do. There's peace now, collaboration — but it's tenuous, Zero. It's fragile. Everything could go wrong so quickly.
no subject
I know. And that's fine.
[ And Zero never begrudged this sense of sacrifice. She finds herself to be inadequate in every way when it comes to Aloy- but there is one thing she is secretly sure of: no one understood Aloy's sense of sacrifice more than Zero. And no one else ever would.
But their senses of self-sacrifice were at odds once children had come into the picture. With Alana it had been tolerable. One child was three times as easy as two, after all.
And even that had come with its own strife. That year in Meridian had hurt Aloy deeply, but it brought some clarity to Zero. In that year she'd grown, healed from things that had nothing to do with Aloy. She'd been able to be a good mother. She can't promise that would be the case if another child was brought into the picture. ]
But you can't have your cake and eat it too. I don't know if you really don't know this.. or if it's something you just forget- it only gets harder when they can remember shit and have opinions.
no subject
[She hadn't forgotten Meridian either. For the first time she had felt a pain unlike any other heartache she'd experienced. The absence of the two of them for good had felt like a terrifying possibility. For the first time, she had felt a kernel of resentment at GAIA and Elisabet both take root in her heart.
And then she'd remembered that Elisabet had wanted her own children, lamented their absence, and felt ashamed at her bitterness.]
I'm — I'm trying. To let go of the reins.
no subject
"Trying" is fine with the way things are now. We can still follow you. When you're here Alana doesn't have to share you.
[ and getting this part out feels bitter and sharp. It's painful to admit: ]
If we do this.. you need to be around all the time for a long time. That's my line. If we do this, you can't cross it. You can think about it.
no subject
Yeah.
[She wants to apologize and decides to hold her tongue. She's had a long time to learn that these platitudes do nothing to soothe Zero. She worries about the day that it won't be good enough for Alana either.]
I'll give it some thought.
[It's quiet, all the buoyancy from earlier gone.
Hekkaro had mentioned a point of concern to her during the meeting earlier. Murmurs, he'd assured her, nothing more — of a group of Quen in unfamiliar regalia who had been spotted near the Lowlands. But it was his land, and his people. He would handle it thusly, he reassured her.
But what if he didn't? Or couldn't? These thoughts and others — problems, discoveries, danger — they were a constant to her. It was like a light that could not be snuffed out.]
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