[In this conversation, silence feels oppressive. She feels guilty for being the source of it, or at least thinking she is, and is about to break it when Zero beats her to it.
There's a little snort, too tired-sounding to be a laugh but at least a sign that the comment has broken the frost that had crawled over their discussion.]
Yeah. Me too. [...] I know this is difficult for you too. I'm not - I know it's necessary.
[To say that she wasn't upset would be a lie. She decides to go with what she knew was the truth instead.]
[ It's said with a tone of finality but without any aggression or ill will. The weariness is there, compounded by the last few weeks of morning sickness and single parenting. If not for the Nora she's unsure if she'd be able to do any of this at all.
She doesn't tell Aloy that - she's already made her point. ]
You get worked up when you can't fix something right away. Just do what you need to for now. The two of us will be here when you get home.
[ It's been a decade of companionship now, not all of it romantic. They're still young, and sometimes she marvels at this stretch of time that still seems so long (because for most of her life even imagining the next year was impossible).
Despite everything it's a comfort to know someone so well, and be known in return. ]
... Right. We don't have to keep talking about it.
[It's said patiently, and without bitterness. There's a twinge of awkward shame even with this — that she had been the cause of this ultimatum, hadn't considered all of the unpleasant parts of parenting having been shielded from it. It's a grievous oversight, and mentally she turns the mistake over and examines it, magnifies it. It's a trait she shares with Beta, and perhaps one they shared with Elisabet. Hard to say.
She wants to ask if she's been a bad mother, if this constant splitting of her attention had affected Alana in a more tangible way than she knew. But it wasn't fair to Zero to ask for her reassurance. She's already being burdensome.
She keeps the question to herself, where it nestles like a burr beneath her skin.] So... ah.
[She chews at her bottom lip.] What do you want to talk about?
[ Suddenly, Aloy is 20 years younger- a nervous child, afraid of being on the outs with someone again. She wonders if anyone else has ever seen her this way or if Aloy herself even knows what she becomes when she's faced with this fear. ]
Look, it's late and we've both been up all day.. we should probably go to bed.
[ It would sound dismissive if not for the shuffling on the other end of the Focus.
Another call, but this time with visuals.
Zero pulls at familiar blankets and shifts pillows. Like an animal nesting for the night, she settles after a counterintuitive ritual that somehow makes way for her comfort. It was a nightly occurrence, one that Aloy always made sure to observe with curious amusement. ]
[It does initially sound like a dismissal, and Aloy near-winces at it, preparing herself for the hours of attempting to sleep while her mind raced. But then Zero softens the blow, and Aloy watches this bizarre little ritual with fondness.
It reminded her, like always, of a fox curling up in its den for the winter. And a little bit like Diana — how the machine dog would wind in looping circles before finally settling down to rest. Not that Aloy would say either of these things.]
Alright. [She says, sounding more like herself, sounding warmer.] I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.
[ it's another week before Aloy is due to return and in that time they speak every day, but never about any children outside of Alana. The nightly video Focus calls continue.
Age and experience have made Zero more vulnerable and far more patient, and maybe a bit more structured too (Aloy's doing)- they get into the ritual of calling right before bed, pillow talk across thousands of miles. It is a silent promise that Aloy will find Zero right where she left her when this trip is over.
And though she never realizes it, it helps Zero fall asleep much easier.
The almost predatory survival instinct and the paranoia that accompanied it were always there, no matter how domesticated she seemed. And it's amplified when Aloy is gone.
The house is silent, low lights visible through cracks in the curtains. The plan had been to stay awake until Aloy came home. Storms in the West had delayed her travel and it had taken most of the day to weather out Alana's tantrums. Once she'd realized she wouldn't be awake to see Aloy come home all hell had broken lose.
Usually the slightest creak would be enough to wake her, let alone the sound of the front door opening. But the exhaustion of her poor sleep and pregnancy had all but knocked her dead for the night, hours before Aloy had even passed through Meridian.
Zero startles back to life only when Aloy is close enough to touch. She springs up from the spot on the couched she'd been draped across, still half asleep when she pulls out the dagger hidden under her pillow.
She almost lunges, but stops just short. Zeros awake now. ]
[The dust picked up from the storms rolling over the West barely has the time to settle before she's out on the road again, switching between air, land and sea to shorten the distance as quickly as possible. She is back to the Sacred Lands under the purple shadow of night, her path lit by stars and Nora torches.
She is quiet when she enters the house that she still refers to as Rost's in her head, careful not to risk waking Zero or Alana. She needn't have bothered with caution: as soon as she's close enough, Zero springs to life and Aloy catches the wicked flash of silver in the dim light, leaning back instinctively at it.
Wide-eyed, Aloy responds after a few shocked seconds, sounding a bit rattled.] Uh, yeah. Pillow knife's a new one from you.
[ there's a static to her words, it's accompanied by a yawn. Zero throws the knife aside with the carelessness of someone who has clearly stabbed and been stabbed too many times.
She sits on her knees, alert now but subdued by the fact that Aloy is home. ]
[ Usually, Aloy begins their reunions with affection. It was easier that way. But she realizes there might still be a careful, non-threatening distance there. If Zero were more self-aware she'd give Aloy kudos for knowing her so well. Better to let a skittish animal come to you in an ambiguous situation. ]
Shut up.
[ Zero rolls her eyes, and then reaches out to wrap her arms around Aloy.
She smells like her journey; there's hints of smoke, the finest dust from red sand, and her own musk that has gone just a hint sour from not bathing. It's soothing to Zero, and it smells good. ]
Some brainiac you are.. always saying dumbass shit like that..
[ Her hand strokes Aloy's hair with a maternal intimacy that is familiar but never acknowledged. That would ruin it. ]
[A tired huff of a laugh leaves Aloy at the greeting that is equal parts Zero's unique brand of scolding, and her just as unique affection. Aloy rests her head against Zero, relaxing in her embrace with a boneless sort of exhaustion. She presses her face into the hug, breathing in the smells of home — sun dried fabric, mountain pine, the rose soap Zero always used.
Her voice is muffled when she speaks.]
I hate summits. [It's not whining or bitter, merely tired and matter-of-fact, the way Aloy usually was when admitting her own discomfort.] So many people... so much talking and posturing, being pulled back and forth.
[A long pause, and then:]
Thanks. For the hug.
[Her voice is still muffled. She appears disinclined to move.]
[ Aloy's words are ticklish and warm against the exposed skin of her shoulder. She likewise makes no effort to make Aloy move. All eye rolling aside it was its own indulgence to be trusted to coddle her. ]
You don't need to thank a girl for anything before second base.
[ she almost says something equally dismissive about how if summits are such a pain maybe she should just stay home. But it's too soon to veer anywhere close to that subject again, even in careless jest.
Zero pulls away slowly, untucking her feet from under her to carefully stand- wobbly from not using her legs for some time. She's a far cry from the woman who'd pulled a knife in Aloy just moments ago: eyes still soft from sleep, knees wobbly from some dream she can't remember. ]
[It's the usual baffling sort of response for Zero, crassness and bluntness masking affection. Aloy is just as slow to move away, yawning and stretching as she does, and puts a steadying hand on the small of Zero's back while they head to the bath. Even travel-weary, her assessing gaze sweeps first over their living area, then focus on Zero, who still moves as if waking from sleep. It’s a rare opportunity to see her in a candid moment, when her guard was down and she was less likely to be able to mask any pain or discomfort. After a little while of this quiet observation, Aloy finds herself satisfied at what she sees. But —]
So. How’s everything? [Her voice is low. She didn't want to wake the baby.] Have you been eating well?
[Aloy rarely concerned herself with this amount of small talk, unless it involved Zero, Alana, and Beta on occasion. She worries when she’s away about most things, and her family — because that’s what they were, and it’s still such a strange thought to have — didn’t like to worry her more than she already did.]
I mean, I haven't been hungry. If that's what you mean.
[ She doesn't want Aloy to fuss or feel any more guilt that she does. Callous as she is the weight of her affection is enough to be conscious of Aloy's insecurities.
And more importantly, Zero wasn't in the mood to get lectured.
The bathroom was what Aloy's ancestors would call a push present. She wasn't one for luxury, she'd learned her lesson about that a long time ago; but if she was going to worship any false idol, it would definitely be a bathtub.
It's a mishmash of parts from all over the place: glazed clay tiles from the Carja, insulation made from wood and machine parts courtesy of the Nora. But her favorite part was the ready access to running water - that one was a little bit the Tenkath, and mostly Aloy.
The tub is built into the floor, Zero has to step down into it to begin drawing a bath. ]
Sit'down - your hair's gross.
[ There's a vanity built into the wall (another bit of Aloy) and beneath are two stools: one for an adult, another for a small child.
She returns and begins her work. She's done this so many times she doesn't even have to look. Zero eyes focus on Aloy's reflection instead. ]
Business as usual over here, outside of the morning sickness anyway.
[ It's said like you'd expect but internally she feels her stomach twist. Broaching the subject in person was uncomfortable for reasons someone with her level of emotional constipation couldn't understand.
For a moment it's silent, aside from the clink clink clink of Zero tugging beads free from Aloy's hair and dropping them into their designated glass pot (beside it is another, the same size but full of smaller beads). ]
[It's not quite an answer to her question. Aloy frowns at the deflection but doesn't push it — to her, everything still felt tenuous in a way where she was still trying to figure out her footing. Zero didn't respond well to being pushed to say... well, much of anything, not even under duress. She's wary about unintentionally starting an argument. But so far, everything is fine — good. They fall into a familiar routine, which seemed as much for Zero's benefit as it was Aloy's. She sits where she's bid to, studying Zero's reflection in the mirror.
Her smile (at both Zero's mention of morning sickness and admittance to missing her) is soft, a little tired.]
Missed you too.
[A careful delay, and then:] I'm surprised Teersa hasn't been pushing Nora remedies for that at you. ... Has Alana caught on yet?
Ha, yeah. [Aloy shakes her head, smiling despite herself.] I don't think anyone's ever talked to a High Matriarch like that. Not even me.
[She sounds a little impressed. Zero's apathy and borderline disdain of tribal politics were, despite any awkwardness (like having to apologize, profusely, to Teersa. and then Sona had gotten a hold of it, and she'd had to apologize again).
The thought of Alana carefully picking weeds for Zero makes her smile deepen. It was clever, too — she decides she'll take her out in the morning to do just that. Would be a good way to catch up.] Cute. Not a bad idea, either. [She runs a hand through her unbound hair, winces when she catches a snag.
She decides to turn her attention to her armor instead. Desert heat had made her dress lighter, trading Nora furs for Carja silk. The metal plating is caked in mud and sand: the pale teal of her sleeveless tunic is streaked with red dust. And her hair was indeed a mess.]
It was mostly the storms. [She's explaining even as she undresses, and despite the fact Zero had not asked.] Had a scuffle with a few wannabe bandits around Stormbird territory, but ah, [a half-shrug.] they got a good look at who they were trying to steal from and ran off. Still rounded them up though — there's a lot of Oseram delves further West that need the extra hands.
[She would do this occasionally, find a group that had been ousted or otherwise led astray, and guide them to another tribe, another task. It was this or moldering in one of the Sun King's desert prisons, she would tell them, and most of them would take her offer after that. A lot of people were scattered and frightened with the changes. She tried to smooth out the rough patches in all the ways she could.]
[ Zero drifts away. It's so naturally choreographed - Zero steps aside after finishing her work, Aloy moves away from the vanity to undress. Today is the first time she's thought about the implications of this.
It happened so often neither of them missed a step.
On another day, if discussed at another time, Zero would think nothing of it. Her hand hovers over her abdomen and she doesn't even realize. ]
Yeah? When'd that happen? [ She sounds indecisive. There's a pendulum in her head, swinging slowly. It's trying to decide how she will feel about all of this.
Subdued either by her continued drowsiness or sense of responsibility, it's asked without clear intention.
But she doesn't like how this makes her think. Once she'd loved this part of Aloy: the kindness and dedication. She still loved those parts of her.
Motherhood makes it impossible to believe anything else could come before Alana.]
Mm? [Aloy's response comes in the middle of her tugging her shirt over her head.] Oh, a little after I left the summit, I think? [There are old scars all over her bare skin, almost as plentiful as the freckles. Nothing new, though.] I don't think a single one was a day past their nineteenth birthday. They folded pretty fast.
[She rubs absently at the back of her neck, breathes out in a long sigh.] I got them in contact with Petra. She's been looking for extra hands.
[She'd wondered where their parents were. She wondered that a lot, lately. Vanasha's still trying to help Shadow Carja refugees years later, most of them now too young to even remember the Mad Sun King at all. Aloy had offered the help, but been waved away. There were more shoulders to bear the weight now, Vanasha had told her. Things were moving along fine.]
[ Zero counts the scars on Aloy's back. Or tries to, at least. It's like trying to count stars, and she's hoping that no new constellations have been carved into Aloy's skin.
A bitter thought flashes behind her eyes: would she miss birthdays in order to ensure other people's children got to celebrate more of their own? Probably.
It's hard to know what to say. When they were younger the silence would be something notably angry. The patience imparted by motherhood and the importance of giving Alana the family neither she nor Aloy had quelled her temper.
But Aloy knows her well enough to know that this silence wasn't good, even if it didn't necessarily mean there was disagreement on the horizon.
While Aloy undresses Zero does little more than listen and gently push dirty clothes into a pile with her toes.
They'd met under similar circumstances hadn't they? Zero mute and Aloy fixated on going along with every passing request. ]
[The quiet sneaks up on Aloy, causes a prickly sensation along her back. She pauses as she begins to remove the armored belt around her waist, her hands knitting together in a nervous fidget, a trait she shared with Beta. Zero was the quieter one out of the two of them, but this felt different. Uncomfortable. She pauses in fussing with her clothing and looks over her shoulder at Zero, brow knitted in concern.]
Ah, no machine fights either. [A chagrined smile follows this.] Do you remember how annoying it used to be? The Stormbirds and Thunderjaws everywhere? [She missed it more than a little, but there was no way she was saying that right now. Neither one has mentioned it, though Aloy feels — knows — this silence is a continuation of the discussion they'd had over Focus. The new baby. Leaning on nostalgia's a deflection, true, but she's hoping it might cool any flare-ups of temper too, to know that as far as Aloy's travels went, the danger with this one had been minimal.
[ The deflection is obvious but she lets the nostalgia work on her.
They were so young then. The world was a harsher place but it life somehow felt so much easier. Maybe that was just the youth talking.
Zero's robe swishes around her as she reaches for Aloy's belt to help her finish the job. This one is a shiny shiny teal with pale white flowers. ]
I kinda' miss it.
[ Without her usual footwear the two of them are eye to eye.
Zero tugs away the last knot. Her hands linger there at Aloy's waist for a moment and then she lets go, letting gravity take responsibility for Aloy's pants.
The sunken bath is nearly full to the point of overflowing, Zero reaches down to shut off the spout, glancing at Aloy from across the tub. ]
Waters gonna' get cold if you just keep standing there. Talk about being caught with your pants down.
[Zero inadvertently echoing her thoughts makes her smile return, warmer this time.]
Me too. [And some of the tenseness that had bunched into her shoulders dissipates. She did not like to lie to Zero, even through careful omission. The warmth of her hands is pleasant and familiar too, though soon it's gone, along with the warmth of her trousers. She steps out of them, leaving them puddled on the floor, and steps down into the tub until the water obscures her shoulders. She sighs at the relief it brings, leaning back against the rim and closing her eyes.
For a moment it seems as if she might drift off. Then her eyes crack open: she watches Zero at her vantage point, nods toward the robe.]
[ Zero watches Aloy until most of her disappears beneath the gentle ripples of warm water. It's not out of outright appreciation. She's appraising her for any new and worrying scars.
None seem to be present so she lets her mind drift away. ]
Hm? Oh, yeah. It was a gift. Some fancy guy who makes pants for Avaad said he wanted me to have it- made me his muse or something.
[ Zero sounds as dismissive as can be in regard to her beautifully made present. She liked pretty things but didn't value them.
She dips her feet into the water and finds instant relief - they were already swollen from pregnancy. With Alana it'd taken at least three months before this happened. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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There's a little snort, too tired-sounding to be a laugh but at least a sign that the comment has broken the frost that had crawled over their discussion.]
Yeah. Me too. [...] I know this is difficult for you too. I'm not - I know it's necessary.
[To say that she wasn't upset would be a lie. She decides to go with what she knew was the truth instead.]
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[ It's said with a tone of finality but without any aggression or ill will. The weariness is there, compounded by the last few weeks of morning sickness and single parenting. If not for the Nora she's unsure if she'd be able to do any of this at all.
She doesn't tell Aloy that - she's already made her point. ]
You get worked up when you can't fix something right away. Just do what you need to for now. The two of us will be here when you get home.
[ It's been a decade of companionship now, not all of it romantic. They're still young, and sometimes she marvels at this stretch of time that still seems so long (because for most of her life even imagining the next year was impossible).
Despite everything it's a comfort to know someone so well, and be known in return. ]
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[It's said patiently, and without bitterness. There's a twinge of awkward shame even with this — that she had been the cause of this ultimatum, hadn't considered all of the unpleasant parts of parenting having been shielded from it. It's a grievous oversight, and mentally she turns the mistake over and examines it, magnifies it. It's a trait she shares with Beta, and perhaps one they shared with Elisabet. Hard to say.
She wants to ask if she's been a bad mother, if this constant splitting of her attention had affected Alana in a more tangible way than she knew. But it wasn't fair to Zero to ask for her reassurance. She's already being burdensome.
She keeps the question to herself, where it nestles like a burr beneath her skin.] So... ah.
[She chews at her bottom lip.] What do you want to talk about?
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Look, it's late and we've both been up all day.. we should probably go to bed.
[ It would sound dismissive if not for the shuffling on the other end of the Focus.
Another call, but this time with visuals.
Zero pulls at familiar blankets and shifts pillows. Like an animal nesting for the night, she settles after a counterintuitive ritual that somehow makes way for her comfort. It was a nightly occurrence, one that Aloy always made sure to observe with curious amusement. ]
Don't keep me up too long.
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It reminded her, like always, of a fox curling up in its den for the winter. And a little bit like Diana — how the machine dog would wind in looping circles before finally settling down to rest. Not that Aloy would say either of these things.]
Alright. [She says, sounding more like herself, sounding warmer.] I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.
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Age and experience have made Zero more vulnerable and far more patient, and maybe a bit more structured too (Aloy's doing)- they get into the ritual of calling right before bed, pillow talk across thousands of miles. It is a silent promise that Aloy will find Zero right where she left her when this trip is over.
And though she never realizes it, it helps Zero fall asleep much easier.
The almost predatory survival instinct and the paranoia that accompanied it were always there, no matter how domesticated she seemed. And it's amplified when Aloy is gone.
The house is silent, low lights visible through cracks in the curtains. The plan had been to stay awake until Aloy came home. Storms in the West had delayed her travel and it had taken most of the day to weather out Alana's tantrums. Once she'd realized she wouldn't be awake to see Aloy come home all hell had broken lose.
Usually the slightest creak would be enough to wake her, let alone the sound of the front door opening. But the exhaustion of her poor sleep and pregnancy had all but knocked her dead for the night, hours before Aloy had even passed through Meridian.
Zero startles back to life only when Aloy is close enough to touch. She springs up from the spot on the couched she'd been draped across, still half asleep when she pulls out the dagger hidden under her pillow.
She almost lunges, but stops just short. Zeros awake now. ]
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[ her voice crackles with remnants of sleep. ]
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She is quiet when she enters the house that she still refers to as Rost's in her head, careful not to risk waking Zero or Alana. She needn't have bothered with caution: as soon as she's close enough, Zero springs to life and Aloy catches the wicked flash of silver in the dim light, leaning back instinctively at it.
Wide-eyed, Aloy responds after a few shocked seconds, sounding a bit rattled.] Uh, yeah. Pillow knife's a new one from you.
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[ there's a static to her words, it's accompanied by a yawn. Zero throws the knife aside with the carelessness of someone who has clearly stabbed and been stabbed too many times.
She sits on her knees, alert now but subdued by the fact that Aloy is home. ]
You've just never seen it before.
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[She goes to sit beside Zero, yawning into her fist.] You didn't have to wait up for me.
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Shut up.
[ Zero rolls her eyes, and then reaches out to wrap her arms around Aloy.
She smells like her journey; there's hints of smoke, the finest dust from red sand, and her own musk that has gone just a hint sour from not bathing. It's soothing to Zero, and it smells good. ]
Some brainiac you are.. always saying dumbass shit like that..
[ Her hand strokes Aloy's hair with a maternal intimacy that is familiar but never acknowledged. That would ruin it. ]
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Her voice is muffled when she speaks.]
I hate summits. [It's not whining or bitter, merely tired and matter-of-fact, the way Aloy usually was when admitting her own discomfort.] So many people... so much talking and posturing, being pulled back and forth.
[A long pause, and then:]
Thanks. For the hug.
[Her voice is still muffled. She appears disinclined to move.]
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You don't need to thank a girl for anything before second base.
[ she almost says something equally dismissive about how if summits are such a pain maybe she should just stay home. But it's too soon to veer anywhere close to that subject again, even in careless jest.
Zero pulls away slowly, untucking her feet from under her to carefully stand- wobbly from not using her legs for some time. She's a far cry from the woman who'd pulled a knife in Aloy just moments ago: eyes still soft from sleep, knees wobbly from some dream she can't remember. ]
C'mon - you smell.
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[It's the usual baffling sort of response for Zero, crassness and bluntness masking affection. Aloy is just as slow to move away, yawning and stretching as she does, and puts a steadying hand on the small of Zero's back while they head to the bath. Even travel-weary, her assessing gaze sweeps first over their living area, then focus on Zero, who still moves as if waking from sleep. It’s a rare opportunity to see her in a candid moment, when her guard was down and she was less likely to be able to mask any pain or discomfort. After a little while of this quiet observation, Aloy finds herself satisfied at what she sees. But —]
So. How’s everything? [Her voice is low. She didn't want to wake the baby.] Have you been eating well?
[Aloy rarely concerned herself with this amount of small talk, unless it involved Zero, Alana, and Beta on occasion. She worries when she’s away about most things, and her family — because that’s what they were, and it’s still such a strange thought to have — didn’t like to worry her more than she already did.]
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[ She doesn't want Aloy to fuss or feel any more guilt that she does. Callous as she is the weight of her affection is enough to be conscious of Aloy's insecurities.
And more importantly, Zero wasn't in the mood to get lectured.
The bathroom was what Aloy's ancestors would call a push present. She wasn't one for luxury, she'd learned her lesson about that a long time ago; but if she was going to worship any false idol, it would definitely be a bathtub.
It's a mishmash of parts from all over the place: glazed clay tiles from the Carja, insulation made from wood and machine parts courtesy of the Nora. But her favorite part was the ready access to running water - that one was a little bit the Tenkath, and mostly Aloy.
The tub is built into the floor, Zero has to step down into it to begin drawing a bath. ]
Sit'down - your hair's gross.
[ There's a vanity built into the wall (another bit of Aloy) and beneath are two stools: one for an adult, another for a small child.
She returns and begins her work. She's done this so many times she doesn't even have to look. Zero eyes focus on Aloy's reflection instead. ]
Business as usual over here, outside of the morning sickness anyway.
[ It's said like you'd expect but internally she feels her stomach twist. Broaching the subject in person was uncomfortable for reasons someone with her level of emotional constipation couldn't understand.
For a moment it's silent, aside from the clink clink clink of Zero tugging beads free from Aloy's hair and dropping them into their designated glass pot (beside it is another, the same size but full of smaller beads). ]
Missed you.
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Her smile (at both Zero's mention of morning sickness and admittance to missing her) is soft, a little tired.]
Missed you too.
[A careful delay, and then:] I'm surprised Teersa hasn't been pushing Nora remedies for that at you. ... Has Alana caught on yet?
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I think she learned her lesson the last time.
[ Afterwards, Aloy had apologized aggressively on both of their behalves.
(Zero, not quite done with her ire shouted over Aloy's shoulder.
"No, I'm actually NOT sorry." And then it was Aloy's turn to face the music. ]
Alana just thinks I'm sick. Heh - it was cute. She ran around picking weeds to make tea out of, something for nausea. Think she found it on my Focus.
[ The last bead falls from her fingers.
Aloys hair fans out all around her like a lion's mane. ]
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[She sounds a little impressed. Zero's apathy and borderline disdain of tribal politics were, despite any awkwardness (like having to apologize, profusely, to Teersa. and then Sona had gotten a hold of it, and she'd had to apologize again).
The thought of Alana carefully picking weeds for Zero makes her smile deepen. It was clever, too — she decides she'll take her out in the morning to do just that. Would be a good way to catch up.] Cute. Not a bad idea, either. [She runs a hand through her unbound hair, winces when she catches a snag.
She decides to turn her attention to her armor instead. Desert heat had made her dress lighter, trading Nora furs for Carja silk. The metal plating is caked in mud and sand: the pale teal of her sleeveless tunic is streaked with red dust. And her hair was indeed a mess.]
It was mostly the storms. [She's explaining even as she undresses, and despite the fact Zero had not asked.] Had a scuffle with a few wannabe bandits around Stormbird territory, but ah, [a half-shrug.] they got a good look at who they were trying to steal from and ran off. Still rounded them up though — there's a lot of Oseram delves further West that need the extra hands.
[She would do this occasionally, find a group that had been ousted or otherwise led astray, and guide them to another tribe, another task. It was this or moldering in one of the Sun King's desert prisons, she would tell them, and most of them would take her offer after that. A lot of people were scattered and frightened with the changes. She tried to smooth out the rough patches in all the ways she could.]
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It happened so often neither of them missed a step.
On another day, if discussed at another time, Zero would think nothing of it. Her hand hovers over her abdomen and she doesn't even realize. ]
Yeah? When'd that happen? [ She sounds indecisive. There's a pendulum in her head, swinging slowly. It's trying to decide how she will feel about all of this.
Subdued either by her continued drowsiness or sense of responsibility, it's asked without clear intention.
But she doesn't like how this makes her think. Once she'd loved this part of Aloy: the kindness and dedication. She still loved those parts of her.
Motherhood makes it impossible to believe anything else could come before Alana.]
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[She rubs absently at the back of her neck, breathes out in a long sigh.] I got them in contact with Petra. She's been looking for extra hands.
[She'd wondered where their parents were. She wondered that a lot, lately. Vanasha's still trying to help Shadow Carja refugees years later, most of them now too young to even remember the Mad Sun King at all. Aloy had offered the help, but been waved away. There were more shoulders to bear the weight now, Vanasha had told her. Things were moving along fine.]
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A bitter thought flashes behind her eyes: would she miss birthdays in order to ensure other people's children got to celebrate more of their own? Probably.
It's hard to know what to say. When they were younger the silence would be something notably angry. The patience imparted by motherhood and the importance of giving Alana the family neither she nor Aloy had quelled her temper.
But Aloy knows her well enough to know that this silence wasn't good, even if it didn't necessarily mean there was disagreement on the horizon.
While Aloy undresses Zero does little more than listen and gently push dirty clothes into a pile with her toes.
They'd met under similar circumstances hadn't they? Zero mute and Aloy fixated on going along with every passing request. ]
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Ah, no machine fights either. [A chagrined smile follows this.] Do you remember how annoying it used to be? The Stormbirds and Thunderjaws everywhere? [She missed it more than a little, but there was no way she was saying that right now. Neither one has mentioned it, though Aloy feels — knows — this silence is a continuation of the discussion they'd had over Focus. The new baby. Leaning on nostalgia's a deflection, true, but she's hoping it might cool any flare-ups of temper too, to know that as far as Aloy's travels went, the danger with this one had been minimal.
To Aloy, anyway.]
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They were so young then. The world was a harsher place but it life somehow felt so much easier. Maybe that was just the youth talking.
Zero's robe swishes around her as she reaches for Aloy's belt to help her finish the job. This one is a shiny shiny teal with pale white flowers. ]
I kinda' miss it.
[ Without her usual footwear the two of them are eye to eye.
Zero tugs away the last knot. Her hands linger there at Aloy's waist for a moment and then she lets go, letting gravity take responsibility for Aloy's pants.
The sunken bath is nearly full to the point of overflowing, Zero reaches down to shut off the spout, glancing at Aloy from across the tub. ]
Waters gonna' get cold if you just keep standing there. Talk about being caught with your pants down.
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Me too. [And some of the tenseness that had bunched into her shoulders dissipates. She did not like to lie to Zero, even through careful omission. The warmth of her hands is pleasant and familiar too, though soon it's gone, along with the warmth of her trousers. She steps out of them, leaving them puddled on the floor, and steps down into the tub until the water obscures her shoulders. She sighs at the relief it brings, leaning back against the rim and closing her eyes.
For a moment it seems as if she might drift off. Then her eyes crack open: she watches Zero at her vantage point, nods toward the robe.]
That one's pretty.
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None seem to be present so she lets her mind drift away. ]
Hm? Oh, yeah. It was a gift. Some fancy guy who makes pants for Avaad said he wanted me to have it- made me his muse or something.
[ Zero sounds as dismissive as can be in regard to her beautifully made present. She liked pretty things but didn't value them.
She dips her feet into the water and finds instant relief - they were already swollen from pregnancy. With Alana it'd taken at least three months before this happened. ]
Hey. Rub my feet will you?
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