❀ IC INBOX

[intoningly]

[ To the tune of a programmed animatronic voice ]

"This user's voicemail inbox is full. Thank you, goodbye."

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Comments

[intoningly]

nah im ass at that shit
doesn't do anything for me either
i can just go and get the real thing if i want to anyway
what do you want its ass o'clock

[courtmagic]

you ever see those lambs walking around
the ones that are the plants

[intoningly]

you high or something?

[courtmagic]

do you think if someone had the power to manipulate plants they could free them from being stuck in one place

[intoningly]

a guy like you
up this late
angsting about this
wonder of wonders
anyway who knows
they'd probably be better off dead

[courtmagic]

sheep are useful though
you can't just slaughter an entire species because you think it's useless

[intoningly]

sure but that doesnt mean you should put the work into saving them either
survival of the fittest and shit
since when were you a bleeding heart

[courtmagic]

i'm not
this just was on my mind

[intoningly]

oh right i forgot you're too cool to give a fuck about anything or anyone
what about the sheep though
are you gonna save the sheep

[courtmagic]

would you like it if i saved the sheep

[intoningly]

Not gonna talk about the other part, huh?

[courtmagic]

what's there to talk about?
you already have it, i don't care about people, at least individually
more the stories they hold, and the pictures they make, metaphorically
that's the life of an observer
you can't expect me to do things that are out of the goodness of my heart, i barely have one

[intoningly]

i know your type
you talk a lot when you want someone to not look straight at you because they're onto something
don't know what half the shit you say means but i do know you say too much of it for it to mean anything anyway

[courtmagic]

then don't you know the answer?
if nothing i say means anything

[wasn't it easy to draw a conclusion then, that he's just a real jerk who doesn't care?

it's his way, to talk circles around someone, to demoralize and trick and lie rather than to face it head on.]

[intoningly]

[ Zero frowns at his words for some time, a prickle of annoyance that doesn't feel like it can be rubbed away just by yelling at him,

Still, she fiddles with her stupid watch until it finally calls him ]

Where the fuck are you right now?

[courtmagic]

[a call's unexpected, and he sits up a little from his perch outside. it's cold, but not so much that he wants to go back in.]

Outside. Why?

[intoningly]

Outside where?

[ Muffled rustling and grumbling can be heard through her communicator. ]

Actually- forget it! Meet me near the stupid training grounds or whatever. Bring something sharp in case you make me want to kill you.

[ And then she hangs up.

Zero is barefoot, disheveled in that way people are when they've been awoken mid-slumber. Her hair is tangled and her eyes are tired but a clear spark of annoyance burns in them. ]

What the hell is your problem, anyway?

[ No explanation, just that question. ]

[courtmagic]

[he shows up, relatively put together - he's not been sleeping, that much is clear. his staff's in his hand, heeding her warning. it'll be enough, if she wants to take this further.]

That's a rather vague question.

[one he'd rather avoid.]

[intoningly]

[ She grumbles something angry and unintelligible before fiddling her watch and
pulling up the messages they'd exchanged.

She shoves her wrist in his face, his words staring back at him on the backlit screen.]

Don't start with me, not when any of the shit you say makes sense. You get snippy when I make a joke, then you get moody when I ask about it and then you go from not shutting up to saying like two words!

[ She shoves him ]

You know how fucking annoying it was? Hearing this thing parrot your bullshit to me?

[courtmagic]

[shoving him, it's a reminder that he's more sturdy than he gives the impression of. still, it makes him step back, and he looks down at her with an unreadable expression-

before it smooths itself into a smile. charming, lighthearted. fake, given their discussion, given his attitude before. fake, if one saw the cracks in it. but he knows how to smile.]

Oh, you thought I was being moody? Zero, you know me better than that. I'm not that sort of person! Text's pretty bad at communicating how you feel without something to help it along. It was just a joke, really.

[it was not a joke. but he knows how to lie, how to tilt his head and be winning, how to infuse his voice with the right measure to make it more believable. what people wanted to hear, to hold to.]

[intoningly]

Bullshit.

[ Zero steps forward and shoves him again, challenges him to stay unmoving.

She has no reason to care, it is not in her nature– least of all not with a stranger who may be ghosted away without a moment's notice. That was how this place worked, after all.

But he's lying, and he's doing it right to her face.

Lying and having the audacity to be quietly moody because she's forced him to lie.

The nerve– it's bullshit. ]

This isn't the first time you've done this. Yeah, that's right you dick– even someone like me can figure that much out. Guess you're not as smart as you thought.

[ And she pushes him again. ]

[courtmagic]

[he's a liar, a trickster. a deceiver, someone who did smile and then lie blatantly, outrageously, all the while making someone believe. it was who he was without a doubt. and here she is, shoving him, telling him it's bullshit.

what could he say, that he hadn't already? he had confessed the truth, said it simply. he was any number of names that she'd throw at him, they were the truth, and he knows it. Merlin has had too long to come to terms with the sort of man he is.

so he lets himself be shoved again, but the third time, he reaches out to catch one of her hands.]

What do you want me to say?

[what does he need to transform into, what does he need to become? he can wear a thousand faces to suit someone - but every now and then, he is at something of a loss. even he needs the answer, when behind his eyes is silence - he doesn't have all the information now. he can only guess.]

[intoningly]

So, now you're suddenly out of shit to say?

[ Zero wrinkles her nose, like she's smelled something foul. ]

How does a guy who just does whatever the fuck he wants somehow this tightly wound up? You're like a jack-in-the-box that someone sprung up right to the very edge of popping out– just one little push, and the lid'll–

[ Suddenly, Zero's hand moves. She unsheathes her sword with practiced speed, striking– hand coming to a stop with her blade just a whisper's distance from his chest.

Pointed right where his heart should be beating.

She puckers her lips, mouth making a quiet 'pop' noise. ]

You don't get to do the shit that you do and then act like you're a victim of people's judgements.

[courtmagic]

[the smile remains on his lips, but there's something in his eyes that seems heavier, older. instead of sparkling with mirth or mischief, a reflection like violet glass.

she had no idea what he's done. what he could do. if he reached out, used blood and patience and time and delved deep into the heart of things. the mess he's made of lives, the unspeakable acts he's committed in the name of goodness and the future. she had no idea what he'd seen, and what it meant to have quiet inside his own head.]

I've never hidden from you who I am. I'm not sure why the truth now is so offensive.

[or for that matter, why he cares about making sure she understands. he steps forward, so that the tip of the blade is touching him, pressing on his robe. she could do it - he'd let her, in the end, if it made her feel better, and he'd just wake up back in Avalon. enclosed in the heart of the world, not even allowed to rot.

(how many times had he thought about doing this, running to the Throne of Heroes, as if that solved any problem? running, that's all he ended up doing. away from a town, a life, a realm, a true smile. Merlin can't even understand his own reasoning half the time. why does he run? why is he standing here, instead of running away? why did he come here?

why does she care, when he proclaims he doesn't care? why can't he justify himself how he pleases?)

drawing the blade from his staff, he uses it to gently push hers down, smile now absent.]

You can't be hoping I'll lie and say I'm a better person than all of that.

[but he will honor her weapon with the same.]

[intoningly]

[ She doesn't know how to respond.

It would be easier, less infuriating if she misunderstood him wholly. But instead there are parts– bits, pieces and hints that draw out feelings of empathy she'd tried in vain to squash long ago when the world had taught her how dangerous identifying with others was.

And then there are other parts of him that jump out from behind dark corners that she cannot make heads or tails of. And they always appear when she draws to closer to the pieces that are familiar, that she feels reflect the parts of her that the rest of the world had convinced her were unique in the most alienating way

She feels like they're always playing hide-and-seek and she hates games like this more than anything else. ]

I don't hope for anything out of you. Learned not to do that with anyone a long time ago– but least of all with your type.

[ Merlin confesses honesty and Zero lies to his face.

She presses her weight against her sword, and in turn his blade. ]

Guess you really can make other faces–

[ She presses harder against his blade. ]

Wonder what other faces I can force you to make!